Ive been focusing recently on trying again, specifically trying again when something doesn’t quite work out as planned! I noticed that sometimes it has taken quite a long time for me to ‘try again’ and I’ve been looking at that gap and exploring it. Here is my thinking process:
- Sometimes when something doesn’t work out my ego jumps in to lick its wounds or feelings pop up like shame or insecurity, if it didn’t work out maybe I shouldn’t continue?
- These thoughts and feelings can lead to bodily feelings, tiredness, lethargy or anxiety, from which it can be really hard to move out of and into action.
- Recognising feelings come from thoughts and feelings then turn into bodily responses made me question my language around trying again.
Specifically the work ‘trying’. Somehow that word for me encapsulates desire and ambition but also striving and reaching. This means that when the desired outcome is not reached I tend to blame myself and feelings of inadequacy emerge, either in myself or in the world! In fact, the dictionary definition of ‘trying’ is
Trying: “difficult or annoying; hard to endure”
Thats not how I want to frame my endeavours! So my magic formula is more of a reframing. Replacing the word trying with contributing takes the sting out of things not working out as planned. My part of the contribution was still there and can be there again.
Contribution feels nourishing and loving. Something I’m happy to offer repeatedly. Along with open eyed learning about why things unfolded differently to my plans and recognising my part in this, I have some new contributions and offerings to put out there again soon and this excites me!
The Magic Formula
If you are reading this its likely that you want to ‘try again’ and might be finding this challenging. Look at the language first. What does ‘trying’, mean to you? What does ‘again’ mean to you? Do the meanings feel supportive and aligned with your desired outcome? If not change the language until the words have the meaning you want to evoke!
My personal new formula for trying again is Contributing Newness to Enrich my Offering!